how to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie an animated visual book summary by Alexander San Dallas part 4 be a leader how to change people without giving a fence chapter 8 make the fault seem easy to correct a friend of Carnegie's was getting married and his fiancee persuaded him to take dancing lessons and the first teaching he had to teach him told him the truth just yet his dancing was all wrong he would have to forget everything he learnt and begin all over again but that took the heart out of him he had no incentive to go on so he quit that teacher the next picture may have been lying but he liked it she said nonchalantly that his dancing was a bit old-fashioned perhaps but the fundamentals were all right she assured him that he wouldn't have any trouble learning a few new steps the first teacher had discouraged him by emphasizing his mistakes this new teacher did the opposite she kept praising the things he did right and minimizing his errors she said you have an actual sense of rhythm she assured him you you really are a natural-born dancer now his common sense told him that he always has been and will be a fourth-rate dancer yet deep in his heart he still liked to think that maybe she meant it maybe she was right maybe he was paying her to say it but why bring that up at any rate he knew he would have been a better dancer if she hadn't told him he had a natural sense of rhythm she hadn't emphasized his skills and positive habits that encouraged him I gave him hope and made him want to improve notice the difference we are all trying to teach each other something whether we are formally a teacher or not it does not matter we are all trying to teach each other in one way or another and evoke a change so with that being said encouragement may be a better option than blatant honest criticism and blame tell your child your spouse or your employee that he or she is stupid or dumb at a certain thing has no gift for it and is doing it all wrong you have destroyed almost every incentive to try and improve but use the opposite technique be liberal with her encouragement make this thing make the things thing easy to do let the other person know that you have faith in his ability to do it that he has an undeveloped flair for it and he will practice until the dawn comes in the window the order to excel people want to live up to your expectations people want to live up to your encouragement I don't want to let you down I don't want themselves down if you want to help others improve remember principle a using courage Minh make the faults seem easy to correct you