I've said before that all of life is based on relationships and to improve it you must improve your relationships with other people everything that you could ever want in life is within your grasp if you can master the art of conversation at the end of the day it's more complex than that but if you can get good enough at keeping a conversation going you'll be able to win most of life's battles many guys want to do better with girls but nobody ever taught them how go inside your head for just a moment and imagine every girl is like a locked safe on the outside of the safe there is a little keypad on the door and if you can crack the code you can get everything inside of the safe keep in mind that this isn't a sexual reference since every girl is different there is a different code for every safe the ability to talk to girls and keep a conversation going are like tools that you can use to crack the code as guys we also have a safe but for the most part our stuff is super easy for girls to crack all they really need is a decent level of physical beauty and they can crack almost any guys safe with minimal flirting girls on the other hand are much different it's true that girls also experience physical attraction and out of 7.5 billion people on the planet of course you can find some girls who will gladly hook up with you if you have nothing else going for you but good looks but for most girls you'll find that you need much more than looks to crack the safe and one of my previous videos about game I mentioned something called social intelligence a lot of guys aren't really sure what this is the truth is that about 70% of social intelligence is your ability to keep a conversation going this skill becomes even more important as you get into your 20s or 30s because girls become more specific and selective when it comes to what guys they'll hook up with or date in other words once you've mastered your conversation skills you've already mastered a huge part of your game however before you can crack the safe we need to lay the foundation one of the biggest mistakes that guys make when talking to anyone especially girls is answering with one-word answers if you've ever texted someone and received a bunch of one-word answers you probably got the hint that they didn't to talk to you the same is true for real-world conversations guys make the mistake of answering with one-word answers for example the cashier asks you how you're doing today if you say I'm fine the conversation will probably end right there but if you say I'm great how are you then it will probably continue imagine the next part of the conversation involves the cashier asking you what your plans are for the day many guys will make the mistake of saying not much or a similar answer what a lot of guys don't realize is that these answers are conversation killers your goal is to avoid these things at all costs mindset is also important if you approach someone with the mindset that you don't feel like talking to anyone you will unknowingly deploy endless conversation killers until the person eventually stops talking to you if you're especially shy or introverted you will actually have to force yourself to be excited about starting and maintaining the conversation in some of my other videos I talked about turning life into a game because it can transform scary situations to do fun exciting experiences as corny as this sounds when I first started improving my social skills I would look at every social encounter the same exact way that I would look at improving my character in a game every encounter ended up being successful because it was literally successful or it was a learning experience when you're out there in the trenches improving your ability to socialize there will be many experiences that you'll deem as a failure but it's only a failure if you don't take a moment to pick it apart and find out why it didn't work out which leads into the next important point as you improve your conversation skills you'll come across so many different types of people if there is one thing that I've learned growing this YouTube channel to several million views per month is that the world is filled with so many different opinions and many of which are just downright ridiculous or crazy you've probably already figured this out if you've read the comments section on any of the popular videos on this channel the same is true for the real world but the major difference is that on the internet anyone and everyone will say exactly what they think with no filter as you can imagine it doesn't quite work like this in the real world most people will keep their opinions in their head and put on a fake smile the point here is that when trying to improve any of your social skills you'll come across many different types of people and some of them will dislike you for no reason at all some people will love you and others just won't feel like talking because they're in a bad mood or something when starting out a lot of guys start up conversations with the wrong people and end with several negative experiences you have to develop a thick skin and not take the bad experiences personally also remember that most people have it mastered their conversation skills so they will probably be a little bit nervous just like you I said in the last video that life is a numbers game and this concept is just as true for conversations as it is for other things if you went out today and talked to a hundred people realize that a large percentage of the people might not want to talk at all a smaller percentage will want to talk to you but not that much and then even smaller percentage will absolutely love talking to you just realize that some people are cold rude scared or just not interested in talking to you and don't take it personally when you come across these people now let's get into how to actually keep a conversation going the truth is that the ability to start and hold a conversation it's like having a master key to any girls sake if a super good-looking shy guy and a guy with average looks went head-to-head to get as many numbers as possible I can almost guarantee you that the guy with the better conversation skills will win every time some great ways to strike up a conversation are talking about the place or the environment you're in for example maybe you're in the grocery store and you notice that they're remodeling a portion of the store talk to the cashier and get the conversation going with that when starting a conversation always keep it casual at first and not too personal if you were to walk up to someone and ask them what their zodiac sign is you just come off as really creepy and weird another great conversation starter is work because it's really impersonal and there is almost always something to talk about it where I remember what I used to work at a gas station most of the time I spent talking with other employees was something to do with work one of the easiest ways to keep a conversation going with anyone especially girls is passion when I say passion I'm talk the most important thing in a person's life every human being on the planet has something that they're passionate about for some people it's skateboarding and for others it's lifted trucks for many girls it might be their children or something similar one of the easiest ways to get into a deep conversation with someone is to figure out what their passion in life is and ask them about it the reason why this is so powerful is because people love talking about whatever it is that's most important to them and all that you have to do is just keep asking them more and more questions about it Oh your truck is lifted how much did that cost what kit do you have on it how long did it take to put the kit on I was thinking about getting X truck and putting blah blah blah on it once you lock on to what the person's really cares about most all you need to do is keep asking them questions about it and they'll probably talk to you about it forever at the end of the day keeping a conversation going with girls and anyone else is almost like being a detective it basically just involves endless questions and answers with some jokes and stories mixed in for example to conversation with the first girl that I met was simple and it was about our schools it started with me saying she looks familiar and asking her what school she went to and from there we talked about our schools and mutual friends that we had many nights we stayed up late talking on the phone and we used to watch the show blind date together and talk about it on the phone when striking up a conversation with strangers you can literally use anything to do it as long as you turn it into a fun game to see how people will react you'll improve quickly true story I used to go into grocery stores and I'd find someone near the salsa aisle and pick up a tub of hot salsa and ask them stupid questions about it by making a joke out of each interaction it boosted my confidence took the pressure off and in most situations it ended up being a successful interaction the truth is that every conversation is so dynamic that it's impossible for anyone to tell you exactly what to say you'll figure out how to do that as you start conversations with other people if you're super shy and introverted realize that many of your first interactions will probably be pretty awkward but just know that every single time that you face that initial fear of approaching a girl or anyone else and beat it back you'll enter your next conversation with a little bit more confidence and skill than you had before your brain must literally rewire itself and build new connections for socializing with people it's like when an infant learns to walk at first he falls all over the place but given enough time experience in daily practice he can eventually become the fastest runner in the world with enough experience you'll be able to keep a conversation going the same way that you drive a car it will become automatic and all of those tips that you learn from watching videos like this will begin to surface it's almost like the matrix when neo becomes the one and sees everything in bright green lines of computer code the hardest part in anything is overcoming that first initial hurdle you have to overcome that massive tree of fear that you've allowed the spread routes in your head and chop it down once you overcome this you'll see just how small and weak the fear really wants it grew so big only because you allowed it to because you assigned it power over you I approached the ability to keep a conversation going the same way that I approach to building confidence and most other fears I had I turned everything into a game and suddenly improving myself became fun if you approach someone to start a conversation and it doesn't work out successfully oh well you gained experience and you learned something the worst that can happen is that you'll experience a few moments of discomfort but guess what every few moments of discomfort that you experience brings you that much closer to conversation mastering remember that everything in life has a price even something as simple as getting better at talking to girls they say no pain no gain the only question is are you ready to face your fears and replace them with confidence I guarantee you that anything and everything that you could ever want in life is already owned by someone else whether it's love wealth or even power the key to getting what you want is conversation mastery use these tips to get started and with enough time and effort you'll be able to crack anyone safe and achieve your wildest dreams in life and with that said until next time thanks for watching