We have the norm (even though it is not always positive) obtained by multiplying $a+b\sqrt {10}$ with its conjugate $a-b\sqrt {10}$, that is $N(a+b\sqrt{10})=a^2-10b^2\in\mathbb Z$. So we have $N(9)=81$ and $N(2+2\sqrt{10})=-36$. We can restrict our search to elements of norm dividing both $81$ and $36$, that is we must have $N(a+b\sqrt{10})\in\\{\pm1,\pm3,\pm9\\}$. Looking for small solutions of this you will stumble upon $1+\sqrt {10}$, which is both a divisor of $9$ and $2+2\sqrt{10}$ and a linear combination of these, namely $(1+\sqrt {10})\cdot 9-4\cdot (2+2\sqrt{10})$.