Well, saying $gS=Sg$ is the same as $gSg^{-1}=S$, so the definitions are equivalent.
The first definition simply emphasizes the fact that normalizers are just a special kind of stabilizers. The group $H$ in Hungerford's definition doesn't _have_ to act by conjugation as a prerequisite. Rather, we willingly _make_ it act by conjugation, and see what kind of stabilizers we will get.