What will help your intuition the most is remembering that the derivative (the gradient) is a local feature, it only depends on what the function is _at that point_ , and not any distance away.
You may be visualizing a function which buckles down in the gradient direction, so it's not the steepest ascent some distance away -- but at the point where you find the tangent plane it is the steepest ascent for at least a very small distance.
At a point where a function is differentiable, the function is almost planar in a very, very small region around that point. Remember to visualize the local region as nearly a plane, and your intuition will be happier with the gradient.